My brother's cowboy hat
by jeedesu
Summary: It's the end of the navy hq war and Luffy is confused about his brother; Ace. Is Ace alive? Or was it just something Luffy made up to hide the truth?
1. Chapter 1

This takes place right after the "War of Marineford" when Luffy gets taken to Amazon Lily.  
>Luffy is a bit out of character in this one.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"THA<em>_NK YOU FOR LOVING ME."_

_Don't say that Ace. Don't make it sound like I'm never going to see you again. You promised! You promised you wouldn't die. You promised you'd stay alive. Ace… Don't make that face. Don't smile when you're about to die. Ace... live..._

"Lu! Wake up! Lu!" A familiar voice called out to me.

_Ace?_

"Wake up! Lu! Wake up dammit! LUFFY!" The voice called out to me again, but louder this time.

I woke up to a loud booming voice in my ear and the shaking of two powerful hands on my shoulders. Still dazed, I noticed a familiar face; dark, curly, black hair that's split in the middle, an awful large amount of freckles across the cheeks and a nostalgic orange colored cowboy hat sitting upon the figure's head. When I looked around my surroundings, I noticed I was on the deck of the Sunny-gou. I grazed my fingers on the grass.

_The Sunny-gou? Why am I here? I thought I was at the navy headquarters with Jinbei and the others..._

Confused, I looked at the figure that shook me awake.

"LUFFY!"

My vision soon cleared up and now in shock of the familiar figure, my lips started to quiver. There is only one person who can have that many freckles. And that person is... "_Ace..._"

"God, Lu! I shook you, I slapped you, I poured water on you, and I even brought meat! And you still wouldn't wake up! Seriously! Tch!"

_You're alive, Ace? Ace is alive? Is this a dream? This has to be a dream... Right?  
><em>

"A-Ace?" I let out a stuttering whisper.

Ace looked at me with his brows furrowed. "What?"

"Is it really you?" I reached out to see if I was imagining things. "Are you really here right now?" This is a dream. Ace _can't_ be alive. "Ace... I thought you died in war...?" I was there on his death. I felt his soft sleek hair in my fingers as I creased his face. The feeling; it feels so real. How can something that doesn't exist, feel so real in my fingertips? While creasing my brother's face, a slight blush of embarrassment crept on Ace's face. Ace _blushing_? This had to be a dream.

Knowing this was a dream made me feel uneasy. If this is a dream, then what's _real_?

"I'm sorry, Ace. We were so close, but I wasn't strong enough." I looked into my brother's jet black eyes. It seemed as if the whole world just stopped revolving and it was only just me and my brother.

But, if Ace isn't real, then is this whole dream a lie to hide the truth? I couldn't help but keep doubting this situation.

"I wasn't strong enough to save you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for being so weak. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you had to die from my lack of strength. Next time… I promise next time-" A tear escaped from my eyes as I started to cry under my breath.

This isn't real. Why am I crying? This is all a dream.

"What are you crying for?" Ace shouted at me.

Everything is so real though. This can't be a dream. It doesn't matter anyways. I don't care. Ace is alive and that's all that matters to me right now. I want to remember his scent, his touch, his smile, and his eyes. I want to remember everything before he slips through my fingers once again.

"Don't act like people are dead when they're not, dummy!" Ace then hits me on the top of my head.

Whimpering... I rubbed the fresh bump on my head. This _touch_, it's real. Ace grabbed his hat and placed it roughly on my head.

"I'm not going to die no matter what! That's a promise!"

Ace reached out and hugged me tightly in his arms. His body felt so warm against mine. But I think it was just his devil fruit ability that made him feel so warm. He smelled like sweet apples that Makino used to give us back at home. Why haven't I noticed this scent before? This scent; it brought back so much painful and blissful memories. Snuggling my head in his neck, he lowered his voice and spoke to me in his calmest voice.

"Like hell I could die and leave my weak little brother all on his own." He patted my head gently. His fingers brushed my hair made me feel so… calm. Was Ace always like this?

Ace leaned toward my ear and whispered gently, "It was just a bad dream, Luffy. It's over. It's over, okay? You're safe in my arms now. "

"A-ace..." I whispered.

Suddenly, not being able to hold back my emotions, I broke down in tears. Crying until the tears just wouldn't stream down anymore. "Ace! I thought you were dead!"

I returned his hug and cried even louder in his arms. His over-sized hat sat on my head, covering half my face as I cried louder than ever before on his chest.

I'm so glad Ace is alive. This is a dream, right? But, I'm so happy right now. I really hope this isn't a dream. Was the war just a bad dream? Ace dying in my arms, was just a _**nightmare**_... Right?

"He's asleep right now."

"After the war at navy hq, he must be hurt badly." Two voices spoke from a distant. I didn't recognize these voices. Who did these voices belong to?

"Is he okay?" One of the voices spoke again. This voice... It sounds really familiar... _Jinbei?_

"He's fine, physically that is. However, we can't be sure about his mentality."

Whose voice does the second one belong to?

"I see. It's such a shame, _Trafalgar-san_. Ace-san sacrificed his life for his brother. Who knows what he was thinking at that moment. All I know is that he did it for his brother, Luffy-kun." The voice that sounding like Jinbei's commented.

Law? What _about_ Ace? Wait... What's going on? Is my brother okay?

"What can we do? It was his choice."

"Do you think he's going to remember?"

_Remember what?_

"Most likely. It's best if we leave Mugiwara alone when he wakes up."

There was silence.

What's going on here? What's with this conversation?

The silence was broken when Jinbei spoke again. "No. If we leave him alone, he might get out of control, Trafalgar-san." Another pause. "I'll tell him. I'll tell him his brother is _dead_."

_Dead… Dead… Dead… _That one single word echoed in my head several times before I could process it's meaning.

_My brother...is __**dead**__? That's a lie! I saw him! That's can't be true! You're wrong! I just saw him with my own eyes! He was hugging me! He held me! You're wrong! _These thoughts rushed through my head. I wanted to scream it out, but nothing. Nothing would seep through these lips, not a single sound. I couldn't move or even speak.

"Whatever, it's your choice, _former_ Shichibukai. Tch. Whatever happens to his body is not my problem because once he wakes up, one false move and his wounds will reopen." Law stated.

"I understand the consequences, Trafalgar-san. I'll take responsibility." Jinbei replied in a concerning tone.

Another long silence took over.

This time, the silence was broken by Law. "It's a shame, _Fire Fist Ace_ died and in such a horrid place too."

_You're lying. He's not… __**Dead**__. He's alive! Ne, Jinbei! Ne, Law! Ace is alive, right? Tell me! He's alive, right? My brother is there with you right now right? Ne! Jinbei! Law! NE! JINBEI! LAW! MY BROTHER IS ALIVE, RIGHT? RIGHT?_

I tried to move my legs toward the two voices. But, my legs wouldn't budge. I tried to release my arms from a grip, but it was unmanageable.  
>Why can't I move my legs and arm?<p>

_JINBEI! LAW! MY BROTHER IS ALIVE! I SAW HIM! _I tried to scream my loudest, but my voice was inaudible. Ace had to be alive! He has to! He's going to welcome me with his big grin when I wake up. He's going to hit me on the head and call me an idiot, like always! I tried screaming one last time -

_**ACE IS ALIVE. STOP LYING. YOU'RE LYING.**_

However, my voice goes unheard.

"Huh? It looks like Luffy-kun is having a bad dream." Law took noticed of the strange movements from Luffy's body on the medical bed.

"Luffy!" Jinbei yelled out worriedly.

"Bepo, carry him outside to get some fresh air. The air outside will calm him down a bit possibly. I guess the impact of the war was worse than I thought. " Law ordered.

"Aye-aye, Captain!" Bepo replied.

Some time had passed but all I could ever think about was my _brother_.

_"Ace is alive...Ace is alive...Ace is alive...Ace is alive...Ace is alive..." _I kept repeating this statement to myself countless of times in my head. However, no matter how many times I tried to reassure myself, I knew the truth.

"Ace...he died, didn't he?" I whispered to myself.

And just like that, my mind wandered someplace else and soon afterwards, it went completely blank.

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><p>That's the end of chapter 1!<p>

Just to reassure you, the part when Luffy sees Ace when he wakes up is all just a dream.

The part when he hears voices is real.

Hope you enjoyed my newest fanfiction! I'm sorry that it's another acelu pairing and that this also involves a dream orz I have no inspiration.  
>Chapter 2 will be out soon! All depends on my editor = u = so wait for that! Matane~<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

"_Luffy, we will definitely live life without any regrets_."

Ace...

"_LUFFY, YOU IDIOT!_"

Ace..!

"_HA! You can never defeat me!_"

Ace!

"_Always hang on to that piece of paper, Luffy. That piece of paper will bring us together again_."

"ACE!"

I woke up abruptly, observing my surroundings.

"A-ace...?"

What I expected to see was my big brother crouching next to me with his big grin but instead, all I saw were trees and high mountains. I stood up and looked around aimlessly, calling out my brother's name.

"ACE! Where are you? Ace!" My voice started to shake and my legs were starting to get numb. Looking behind every tree and rock, I looked for my big brother. "Ace? ACE? ACE! Where are you Ace?" I kept screaming out his name to the sky. "AAAACCCCCEEEEEEEE!" Running around like a lost puppy, I tripped over my own legs countless of times. My legs were throbbing but I couldn't stop running. I have to find my brother, _no matter what_. As I ran and ran, hitting every rock and tree, I fell down once more. However, this time I stayed down. Looking at the ground in my own anger, I grabbed a fistful of grass and pulled them out vigorously. Even as angry as I was, under my breath, I kept calling out for my brother.

"A-Ace… Ace... Ace!" With tears streaming down from my eyes looking at the ground beneath me, I saw all my tears hitting each blade of grass. Then, I heard my own voice in my head.

_Ace is dead._

"No... No... No! YOU'RE LYING!"

_Ace died in the war._

"SH-SH-SHUT UP! YOU'RE WRONG! THE WAR NEVER HAPPENED!"

_Who are you trying to fool? Look at all those bandages wrapped around you. Look how frail your body looks. You can't even move your legs now._

Listening to my conscious, I looked at my body that was visibly wrapped in innumerous amounts of bandages. My legs were bleeding from my constant running around tripping over rocks and my own legs. I was right, look at my body. It's obvious. The truth is obvious. In realization, I punched the ground with all my might.

"Ace...he died, didn't he?" I asked silently even though I knew the answers to this painful question. I screamed all my pain high to the sky.

"I-I-I was too weak!" My lips started to quiver and my legs started to give out. "I was too weak! I couldn't save Ace when he needed to be saved the most."

Crying, I pulled out fistful of grass while repeatedly screaming the same thing over and over again.

"I WAS TOO WEAK. I WAS TOO WEAK. I WAS TOO WEAK. I WAS TOO WEAK. I WAS TO WEAK! I WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH. I WAS TOO WEEEEEAAAAKKK!" Sitting up straight now, I cried loudly in my hands.

"Why? Why isn't Ace here? Why? That nightmare, it was a dream, right? IT'S A DREAM! YOU'RE ALIVE, RIGHT? YOU DIDN'T DIE RIGHT? Tell me, Ace. Tell me it was all a dream! Tell me that you're alive!" I screamed high into the spacious blue sky. My eyes were drenched and my jaw wouldn't stop shaking.

I knew the truth yet, I kept reassuring myself that my big brother was still alive. I cried louder and louder by each second. Somewhere along the moments of my cries, I heard a familiar voice echo in my ear.

"A kid brother like you... Makes a big brother worry."

I stood up straight hastily, but with the numbness in my legs, I trampled back down.

"Ace!" Sitting on the ground, I looked around again, and saw nothing but the same scenery. "Ace?"

In realization that it was just all in my head, I hugged my knees close to my body and cried loudly into them

.  
><em>I was too weak. I was too weak. I was too weak. I failed! I failed twice already! I couldn't save any of my brothers!<br>Why kami-sama? Why did you take Ace away from me? Give Ace back! GIVE HIM BACK! I'm lonely without him! Give him back, Kami-sama. Please, give me back my brother! He was the only brother I had left! Please..._

Just like that, my eyes slowly began to lose vision and my mind dozed off somewhere else.

* * *

><p>"Tch. What are you crying for, baka?"<p>

There it is again. Ace's voice.

"Oi! Lu! "

Shut up.

"LU!"

SHUT UP. YOU'RE NOT REAL.

"TCH. LUFFY!"

"SHUT UP! LEAVE ME AL-" Raising my head toward the voice, I saw no one in front of me.

Tch. My mind is playing with my feelings again..

I hate to admit it, but I was actually hoping that the voice was real and it wasn't just something my mind threw at me. I was disappointed to not be able to see him in front of me. Returning to my mourning state, I felt a slight kick in my back.

"Huh?"

I looked up and what I saw looking down at me was a familiar face; dark curly black hair split in the middle, an awful large amount of freckles across the cheeks and a nostalgic orange-colored cowboy hat sitting upon the figure's head.

My eyes started to tear up and my voice was inaudible.

The figure showed a big grin with a slight smirk and said, "You really are a troublesome kid brother."

_Ace...You're… You're alive?_

"I can't believe you were so reckless!" He raised a fist high in the air and I flinched quickly in response to my reflexes to self defend myself against what seemed to be a punch. Instead, he gave me a light push on my head. Looking at my brother in astonishment, I tried to speak; but nothing came out.

_The war, it was all a dream?_

"Lu." He crouched next to me and spoke to me in a slow calm voice. "This is a _dream_, Luffy. "

_What...? You're lying...You're here right now though..._

"You see, Luffy." with a slight chuckle he rubbed his nose with his thumb. "I died in the war."

My brother gave me a smile that I didn't expect. A smile that looks hurt yet, happy. Ace wiped a tear from my eye and looked at me with yearning eyes. "I'm sorry."

_Sorry? Why are you the one apologizing? I was the one that wanted to become stronger so you wouldn't have to end up like Sabo!_  
>I tried arguing back against his apology that didn't make sense, but, my voice goes unheard once again.<p>

"I did something so terrible and I ended up hurting you so much; physically and mentally. But you wanna know something, Luffy?"

"What...?" I whispered a reply.

"I'm not really dead. As long as you don't _**forget**_ me that is." with a slight smile, he wiped the tears off my face with his rough and slender fingers. His finger slowly danced across my face and wiped away the sadness that enveloped it." I'm always with you, fighting together by your side. You see Luffy, even if I am dead, I can't move on knowing you're in grieve."

Sniffling, I listened closely to my brother's words. _Don't take him away, again. _I was barely listening to him. The only thoughts that were processing through my mind was the fact that Ace was right here, next to me, and talking to me.

"Remember our promise we made after we accepted Sabo's death, Luffy?"

_The promise we made that we will live life-  
><em>  
>"-without regrets. And I can't complete living my life and moving on without regrets knowing you're still mourning over my death. Don't be such a big crybaby! Even if I do not exist in this world, I will always be in your heart. Don't take this as a goodbye, Luffy. Take this as a <em>'see you later'<em>."

With tears overflowing my eyes, I hugged my brother tight. In his arms, I felt warmth in my body. And as I hugged him closer to me, not wanting to let go, I smelled a sweet apple scent from my brother.

Ace was right. We'll see each other again! In the other world! At _One Piece_! **TOGETHER**!

My brother then broke out from our embrace and stuck out his pinky towards me.

"Promise me, Luffy. Promise me that you will continue to live life without regrets."

I couldn't reject his promise. As a matter of fact, I wanted to accept this promise. This promise as proof that Ace is living within me, no matter where he has gone to. I wrapped my pinky with his and for what seemed a long time, I smiled my usual big grin.

With an admirable look from my brother, he placed something gently on my head.

"Keep this safe, Luffy. Keep it as a reminder of our promise."

As I looked at the object placed on my head, I noticed it was Ace's orange-colored cowboy hat. And just like that, I dozed off while seeing my big brother slowly disappearing in front of my eyes.

* * *

><p>" LUFFY."<p>

I heard a stern deep voice; but it wasn't Ace's.

"LUFFY!"

Slowly lifting my head from my knees, I saw a large blue fish man.

_Jinbei? When did Jinbei get here? Ace was just right here..._I thought to myself as I raised my head. Looking around, I tried to look for my brother once more.

"Luffy, Ace is dead."

With a slight jump of those words, my eyes widened. _What...? Wait... So the part when Ace came here was a dream also? Why does my mind keep doing this to me?_

"You may have lost your brother, but don't only think of what you have lost! Think of what you still have, Luffy."

What I still have? I still have… My nakamas. "I still have my _nakamas_." I replied to Jinbei unconsciously. The word made my heart beat loud in my chest. Sitting upright, I listened more to Jinbei's words.

"Your nakamas? Yes! Don't grieve over your brother's death any longer! You still have your nakamas! You haven't lost them!"

I want to see them…

"Live on with your life! Your nakamas are still here to cry with you and to love you."

My nakamas. They must be worried about me. Everyone, they're praying for my safety...My nakamas. I want to see them...I want to see them...

"I want to see them! All of them! Zoro! Sanji! Nami! Usopp! Chopper! Robin! Franky! Brook! I WANT TO SEE THEM." With tears overflowing my eyes, I yelled out for the last time with the last of my breath, "I WANT TO SEE THEM!"

Jinbei with a reassuring smile, started to walk away.

This isn't a dream, and I know that for sure. This is real. Ace is dead. And he's not coming back. Everything about Ace being alive; was just a dream.

Jinbei stopping his path, turned around one last time and threw me an object. "Here." He threw me a hat. With a closer look, it wasn't just a hat. It was the hat Shanks gave me. My treasure, and my _most prized possession_.

I held onto my treasure tightly in my hands. And just like that, Jinbei left. Standing up trying to catch up to him, what I felt on my head was another hat. As I took off the hat from my head and bring it towards my face, what I saw was a nostalgic orange colored cowboy hat.

"Ace!" With a slight smile, I held Ace's hat close to my heart. And for one last time, I heard Ace's voice once more.

"Luffy! Next time we meet… We'll be on the high seas!"

And with that said and done, I turned around to see a faded imagery of my deceased brother with the same smile he always wore around me.

_A-Ace...!_

My brother looked at me and held out his pinky.

With joy overhwelming in me, I couldn't help but smile widely. "I won't forget..." I whispered to him.

And just like that, I soon felt a slight push on my back. _Pushing me forward to live on without regrets_.

* * *

><p>And there goes Chapter 2! Hope you enjoyed this fanfiction!<p>

During the process of writing these two fanfictions, my reviser and I couldn't help but share the same feelings of; sorrow, joy, and a river of tears. Literally!  
>I also hope this fanfiction moved your heart as it did for my reviser and I, and that you also able to these same feelings with us. Haha.<p>

Another huge thanks to my reviser for taking her time during her exams to read these two chapters and edit them for me! arigatooouu wennie chan!

Until then, mataneee~ = u =


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